The Unfought War

I have never felt so powerless or restrained in my life. For the first time, I feel completely trapped in a situation I have no control over.

It feels as though I am standing on a battlefield dressed in full warrior’s armor—suited, prepared, and equipped for battle. My armor is secured. My weapons are ready. My mind is focused.

My spirit is willing.

I am ready to face my enemy.

I am ready to fight.

I am ready to go to war.

But I can’t.

I am standing in the middle of the battlefield, fully prepared for a battle I desperately need to fight, yet something beyond my control is keeping me from moving forward. I can see the battlefield before me. I can feel the weight of the armor on my body. I can feel the urgency building inside me.

All I need is the signal.

The solemn sound that announces the beginning of war.

But the sound never comes.

So I stand there—waiting, watching, and holding back everything inside of me that is screaming to move.

I have the strength to fight. I have the courage to fight. I have prepared myself for this moment.

But I am still waiting for permission to enter the battle.